This is our final installment on our short series on wedding speeches, we also advise you can read our previous advice on speeches for the best man, groom and father of the bride via our etiquette category.

General Info

Try to finish your speech 4 weeks before the wedding giving you time to practiceTime yourself and check with Dream Occasions this fits in with the scheduleWrite bullet points on index cards and post a copy to Dream Occasions (sealed in an envelope) in case you forget your speechDon’t be tempted to overindulge in alcohol; this gives false courage with speeches invariably ending in disaster. Ad-libbing is never a good idea.If you are really nervous then ask to have the speeches before the wedding breakfastTraditionally the speeches run in the following order: Father of the Bride, Groom and Best Man. If the bridesmaid or bride wishes to speak this should happen after the groom’s speech.

Now that it is approaching all the summer weddings my male clients are asking for help with their speeches. I therefore thought a quick series on speech guidelines would be helpful to all those grooms, best men and of course fathers who have yet to write theirs out. Of course if you are really struggling you could try a service like ‘Great Speech Writing’ to write it for you!

Groom

Beginning

Thank brides father for his kind words & toast, could add proud to be his son-in-law etc. Maybe mention how her family have taken you in like a son.

Reiterate how you are enjoying the day so far – so nice to have all your friends and family in one room together.

Thank brides parents for bringing her up so well.

Thank the guests for coming, their good wishes & gifts

Thank the best men, ushers & bridesmaids

Middle

Mention how you met bride, first impressions, who made first move etc

Say to bride (you could say “my wife”) how lovely she looks, how you are fortunate to be marrying her, looking forward to the future as husband and wife etc.

End

Few words about best man and why you choose him

Hand out gifts to relevant people.

Toast the bridesmaids – could say “before I hand you over to the best man I would like to do toast the bridesmaids.”

Now that it is approaching all the summer weddings my male clients are asking for help with their speeches. I therefore thought a quick series on speech guidelines would be helpful to all those grooms, best men and of course fathers who have yet to write theirs out. Of course if you are really struggling you could try a service like ‘Great Speech Writing’ to write it for you!

Best Man

Beginning

Thank the bride and groom for their gifts and compliments to ‘the team’ of bridesmaids & ushers etc.

Read any telegrams and other messages from invited guests unable to attend the wedding.

Make a point of addressing the couple, and especially of talking to and about the bride, mention how lucky groom is to marry her etc.

Say how you were honored to be best men.

Middle

Tell some behind-the-scenes stories about preparing for the wedding – especially any amusing incidents, narrowly averted disasters etc.

Your material should be funny without being nasty, risqué without being offensive. Props are often used with stories – or hints from the stag night.

Tell guests how bride & groom met.

Level the mockery with some sincerity. Talk about how you met the groom, how you came to be best mates, how much you really think of him, your perspective on the relationship between bride & groom, your best wishes for their future together etc.

End

Inform guests of the evening schedule, i.e. music will start at 8p.m buffet will be at 10p.m, if there have been any instructions from the wedding breakfast venue i.e. please vacate room so it can be set up for the evening.

Conclude with a toast to the bride and groom.

Now that it is approaching all the summer weddings my male clients are asking for help with their speeches. I therefore thought a quick series on speech guidelines would be helpful to all those grooms, best men and of course fathers who have yet to write theirs out. Of course if you are really struggling you could try a service like ‘Great Speech Writing’ to write it for you!

Father of the Bride

Beginning

Welcome to grooms parents, relatives of both families and friends

Say how proud you are of your daughter

Tell some stories about events leading up to the wedding

Any childhood stories about bride

Congratulations to groom

Middle

Happiness at daughter marrying into grooms family

Confidence in their future together

A few words of wisdom for a happy future as man and wife

End

Ask all guests to join you in wishing bride & groom much happiness for the future.

Knowing how to word your wedding stationery can be a minefield and the cause of many headaches. Traditionally the invitations were sent by the brides parents because they were the ones ‘hosting’ the event, today however it is normal for clients to pay for their own wedding or go halves with their parents. The wording used depends on the formality of the wedding/couple but also who is the host.

In this post we discuss how you should word your stationery, we will post on design and print process another day as that is a whole new subject.

Stationery from Chartula Studios

Top Tips

Abbreviations should only be used for titles, dates & times e.g. ‘Dr, Mr’,’30th’, ‘pm’.

The Bride’s name should always be before the Groom’s.

Be consistent with dates & times whether using numerals or words. e.g. ‘third April, two thousand and nine at one o’clock’ or ’3^rd April 2009 at 1.00pm’.

If the ceremony and reception are at the same location, the venue needs only to be written once.

Any special instructions like finish time or dress code would be written after the reception details but before the ‘RSVP’

If a bride is hosting the wedding then she uses her full title but if the wedding is hosted by someone else then she is referred to via first name only.

Invitations should be sent out 8 weeks before, however many couples choose to send 10-12 weeks before for summer weddings.

Save the dates should be sent anytime from 12 months to 6 months before a wedding, any closer then it is more cost effective to just send the invitations early.

Enclose a RSVP card to ensure speedy replies

The more popular invitation wording is covered below courtesy of Chartula Studios

 Invitation Wording Examples

Bride’s Parents Hosting

Mr and Mrs (Bride’s Parents Name)
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
(Bride’s Name)
to
Mr (Groom’s Name)
at (Ceremony Details)
on (Day, Date, Month, Year)
at (Time)
and afterwards at
(Reception Details)

Bride and Groom’s Parents Hosting

Mr and Mrs (Bride’s Parents Name)
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
(Bride’s Name)
to
Mr (Groom’s Name)
son of
Mr and Mrs (Groom’s Parents Name)
at (Ceremony Details)
on (Day, Date, Month, Year)
at (Time)
and afterwards at
(Reception Details)

Bride and Groom and Families Hosting

Together with their families
(Bride’s Name)
and
(Groom’s Name)
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage
at (Ceremony Details)
on (Day, Date, Month, Year)
at (Time)
and afterwards at
(Reception Details)

Bride and Groom Hosting

(Bride’s Name)
and
(Groom’s Name)
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage
at (Ceremony Details)
on (Day, Date, Month, Year)
at (Time)
and afterwards at
(Reception Details)

Groom’s Parents Hosting

Mr and Mrs (Groom’s Parents Name)
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
(Bride’s Name)
to their son
(Groom’s Name)
at (Ceremony Details)
on (Day, Date, Month, Year)
at (Time)
and afterwards at
(Reception Details)

Divorced Bride’s Parents Hosting

(Bride’s Mother’s Name)
(Bride’s Father’s Name)
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
(Bride’s Name)
to
Mr (Groom’s Name)
at (Ceremony Details)
on (Day, Date, Month, Year)
at (Time)
and afterwards at
(Reception Details)

Stationery from Chartula Studios

Envelopes

If you have worded your stationery formally then you need to follow this through with the envelopes. See below for an example.

Envelope formal

Mr & Mrs Paul Smith + children

Envelope informal

Paul & Karen Smith + children

Invitation Terminology

Save the Dates – normally a small single sided card sent announcing your wedding date. It would have your name, date of wedding and ‘formal invitation to follow’.

RSVP – to encourage speedy acceptances many couples include a pre addressed RSVP card in the invitation. Many couples also ask for dietary requirements, favourite songs, transport requirements to be noted on the reply.

Info card – a small card or printed paper included with the invitations. It would include directions, map, hotels, taxis and any other information useful for the guests to know.

In the next etiquette guide in May we will cover the ceremony.

Bernadette

-x-

According to the Oxford dictionary etiquette means ‘the code of polite behaviour in a society.’

Caroline

In the first of a new series on ‘etiquette’ we explore the confusions with this topic and hope to help you decide which way to proceed with the planning. Who knows it might even save a few arguments with family along the way! I feel it’s important to remember that though etiquette is part of our every day life it is our personal choice whether to follow the ‘laws’ or not.

Responsibilities – pre wedding

The BRIDE of course is the focus point of the wedding and I think this is something that will not change with time. She decides who her attendants will be, i.e bridesmaids, flower girls and pageboys and then chooses their dresses/suits & accessories. A bride does most of the wedding planning (even if hiring a wedding planner) and also devotes a lot of her time to her dress, makeup, accessories to ensure she looks as perfect as possible on the day without any flaws.The BRIDEGROOM has a few more responsibilities, at least according to etiquette and tradition. He appoints his ushers and best man or best men and helps decide what suits to hire for them. He chooses and buys the wedding rings, pays for ceremony expenses excluding flowers and music. Traditionally he pays for the brides bouquet, his buttonholes and bridesmaids bouquets – (although I’ve yet to meet a groom who has shown an interest in flowers let alone buy for them). Finally he is in charge of choosing and paying for the honeymoon.

PARENTS OF THE BRIDE traditionally are the ones that pay for the largest proportion of the wedding and take part in a lot of the decisions made. Traditionally they were the ones placing the engagement notices in the newspapers and would heavily influence the final guest list. The invitations are sent from them (more on stationery wording in the next instalment of this etiquette guide) and all replies posted back to them. Normally the parents would pay for the brides dress and any bridesmaids she may have. Now although parents traditionally paid for their daughters wedding it is more common place for them to contribute towards rather then pay for all of the wedding. Many couples pay for part (or sometimes all) of the wedding themselves especially as the cost of weddings has escalated to £20k which is out of reach for many parents .

Part 2 of this guide will be posted early April and we will cover invitation wording.
Picture Credit: Kerry Morgan