Congratulations you’re engaged! You’re on glad nine, your fiancé has declared his love and asked you to become his wife, you excitedly talk about the future and your wedding day. You dream about the dress, partying with your friends and of course becoming husband and wife.

But, then the panic sets in. Just how do you plan a wedding, where should you begin? Originally published in 2009 my planning guide has been updated to set you on the right path.

What Wedding do you want? (part 3)

I have noticed a difference in budget allocation over the last 2 years due to the economic uncertainty we have all faced, bride and grooms included. Couples are being more realistic about what they can afford and reluctant to get into debt for their wedding (quite rightly so). So if you are newly engaged how can you ensure you spend the money in the right areas?

Parts of my advice below were published on English Wedding blog in 2011

What’s in the wedding ‘pot’?

Think about when you want to get married, is it this year or in 18 months time. Do you have savings set aside for the wedding, if not then work out your expenditure vs your income, what is a realistic amount to save? Add this figure to any contribution from family to give you your realistic budget. Without producing a budget from the outset it is very easy to get carried away and spend money unnecessarily. For example 45% of your budget will normally go on the reception, this only leaves you with 55% for all suppliers, outfits and the ceremony. Are there some family members that will be providing a service or skill as their wedding gift to you? Always have a contingency of about £500-1,000 for those items you never knew you ‘needed’! In order to cut costs think carefully about every aspect of the wedding and what your priorities are, what areas can you save on?

Talented helpers

Ask friends and family or even the local community to actively help you with the wedding. Perhaps someone has a hidden talent like cake making, hair & beauty or does someone have a luxury car that can be used as the wedding transportation. Maybe your in laws are enthusiastic gardeners, they could make up pots of flowers for you to use as centre pieces or line the aisle with.

Homemade with love

Where possible consider getting creative and make the design items for the wedding. Not only will it give your wedding a design edge it will be totally original and memorable.

Get wise

If you need to cut costs then think about what is really important and where money can be saved. Does it matter that all stationery coordinates? Instead of flowers why not have candle holders instead? Candelabras inexpensive to hire and very elegant.

Enthusiasm vs Experience

Contact your local colleges and universities; those studying music could play at your drink reception or maybe there is a university band that would love to entertain you for free? The catering students might want to make canapés or your cake for you. And let’s not forget those studying floristry, I’m sure they would provide their services for free as long as you buy the flowers (wholesale) for them. At the same time though work out what is important to you, if photos are especially high up your list ensure you pay for a professional photographer – this isn’t the time to ruin future memories for the sake of a few hundred pounds.

Photo Credit: Kerry Morgan

I originally posted this in 2009 but thought it was pretty prudent for now as this is when brides are interviewing suppliers for their weddings next year.

As part of their consultation I naturally ask clients if they have a budget, in past years clients would give me a rough budget but I’ve noticed a bit of a trend recently when clients say there is no budget determined. Far from being helpful this makes it very difficult to price what their wedding will cost.

After all there is a huge difference in weddings costing £10k compared to £30k and even more when the wedding is £80k+. Without a broad spectrum of a budget I have no idea as to what they want for their wedding. I pride myself on being an honest wedding planner so when a client gives me a budget I don’t set out to spend every penny or intentionally go over budget so I earn more! In fact my budget breakdowns are pretty accurate and we rarely go over the agreed budget.

Think about it another way, I have suppliers I recommend in each price bracket and I only recommend those the client can afford. There is nothing worse then seeing and falling in love with something only to discover it’s out of your budget. For example the bands I use can range from £700 – £4,000. Is there a big difference between them? To be honest yes, my top bands are fantastic but I only recommend them IF the client can afford it.

The same can be said of flowers, you could enter a meeting with a florist saying there is no budget, the florist will then quote giving you everything you wanted, you receive the quote and fall off your chair because you don’t want to spend that much so ask them to cut down. Wouldn’t it have been easier to say this is my budget in the first place?

So, the moral of the story is not every supplier is trying to spend ALL your money. We are only trying to give you the wedding or party you desire but without knowing what you want to spend, expectations are rarely met.

Please be honest with us!

Now that we are in 2011, I wonder how many bride & grooms will make New Year resolutions? If I were to give advice on what resolutions to commit to they would be as follows:

1. Create a realistic budget and stick to it, more advice on creating your budget can be found via an article I wrote for English Wedding
2. Dont try and do everything yourself, delegate some tasks to family members or friends who would love to be involved leaving you the fun tasks, you can then act as ‘project manager’ for all delegated menial tasks!
3. Involve your fiance, it’s their wedding too! Talk about the areas of the wedding which are important to each of you and split up the duties.
4. Make a pledge to spend one evening per week NOT talking about the wedding, you dont want to get to the wedding night with a deathly silence as you no longer know how to communicate to each other.
5. Remember less is more, do you really need favours, cameras, napkin decorations, wine charms and trivia cards on the table?!
6. Keep your sanity, do you really have to match the favour ribbon to the bridesmaid dresses? Stop trying to match everything, sometimes using similar tones is more effective.
7. Forward plan, check with your suppliers when they need confirmed information from you, i.e when is the latest date for the table plan to be printed, when do caterers need dietary choices – use this to then work out when invites need to be posted, allow enough time to print labels and get stamps (dont forget to check with the post office if it is a regular or large stamp).
8. Remember you are not superheroes, if you become frantic at work or family health issues are making it difficult to organise the wedding, get a professional wedding planner in. Most will offer partial planning services so you are still in control. I cover the East Anglia region, please review my website for further details or for planners in different areas try the UKAWP.
9. Dont be bullied, you may find family, suppliers and venues will try to enforce their opinions on you. Listen to what they are saying but remember it is YOUR wedding, do what you think is right for your wedding.
10. And finally have fun it’s not often you get the chance to plan a fabulous event with all your friends and family present so don’t get too stressed. If you have a budget and sensible timeline of when tasks need completing you can enjoy planning your wedding.