Congratulations you’re engaged! You’re on cloud nine, your fiancée has declared his love and asked you to become his wife, you excitedly talk about the future and your wedding day. You dream about the dress, partying with your friends and of course becoming husband and wife.But, then the panic sets in. Just how do you plan a wedding, where should you begin? Originally published in 2009, my planning guide should set you on the right path!

Step 1 – What Wedding do you want?

One of the first things I do with clients is to conduct a consultation; this is to determine what style of wedding they want and which suppliers will suit them best. So, although you will not need a consultation with yourself, do compile a questionnaire and go out somewhere relaxing to discuss it. By the end of your evening you should be clear on what you both want from a wedding and most importantly, what you can afford.

1. Talk about when to get married

2. Discuss what you both want from a wedding

3. Compile a rough guest list to get an idea of numbers (you will need this for when you start searching for venues)

4. Discuss type of ceremony i.e religious or civil

5. Talk about the type of venue you would prefer, i.e hotel, manor house, barn, marquee etc

6. Choose wedding attendants

7. Talk about who is paying for the wedding, is it solely you or are parents contributing to part or all of the wedding?

Be organised from the start

You will need somewhere to keep all the wedding documentation. There are many specialist books made especially for this purpose otherwise buy a simple display book or filing folder from your local stationery store. You should keep invoices, supplier letters and pictures you like here, easily assessable when needed. Of course for the technical brides out there, consider having a wedding website where pictures can be stored and guest lists compiled and tracked.

Rough Guest List

It stands to reason that ideally you’d have all your family, friends and work colleagues at your wedding. Remember though that every guest has a price to their head and not just the wedding breakfast, but drink, table flowers, favours and stationery. Create an A & B list, that way if anyone from the A list declines you can invite someone from the b list.

Ceremony type

There are many forms of ceremonies, too many to list here so I have just concentrated on the most popular ones in the UK.One of your first major decisions will be what type of ceremony to have. Will you want a religious or civil ceremony? If you wish to marry in your local church then arrange a meeting with your vicar, most require you to attend church on a regular basis but some are flexible so do check. The banns will be read out in church on 3 consecutive Sundays after which you must marry within 3 months. Try http://www.cofe.anglican.org/lifeevents/weddings for further guidelines.If you wish to have a civil ceremony then contact the registrar in the town you wish to marry. They will then send you a list of licensed venues in that area along with details of local register offices. The earliest you can confirm a date with a registrar is 12 months before, so even if you book a venue 18 months in advance, there is no guarantee on the ceremony time or even availability of a registrar until 12 months.If you are planning a civil partnership then again by contacting your local registrars you will be given a list of licensed venues in the UK.

Alternatively if you want to plan something different then why not have a legal civil ceremony followed by a humanist celebration? These can take place anywhere and are as individual as the couple themselves. You may have any reading, poem, song that you wish and the ceremony can be conducted anywhere, i.e. beaches, cliff tops, gardens, boats etc. go to humanism for further details.

Ceremony Time

Early ceremonies are good if you have lots of entertainment planned and evening guests. A later ceremony is perfect for the same guests all day creating a more relaxed atmosphere. A late ceremony means a late wedding breakfast and reduces the need for evening food. A cheese table with bread and fruit is more then sufficient.

Photo Credit: Kerry Morgan & Nick Kontou

Congratulations you’re engaged! You’re on glad nine, your fiancée has declared his love and asked you to become his wife, you excitedly talk about the future and your wedding day. You dream about the dress, partying with your friends and of course becoming husband and wife.

But, then the panic sets in. Just how do you plan a wedding, where should you begin? In our fortnightly series we will break down how to organise a wedding like a professional wedding planner. In our 8^th instalment of our planning guide we continue with the final detailsIn the last two months you need to be cross checking all your supplier confirmations thus ensuring everyone involved with your wedding knows what they are doing.

1-2 Months

• Finalise table plan & layout
• Give final numbers to the caterers
• Chase missing RSVP’s
• Organise dancing lessons for the important ‘first dance’

Copyright Kerry Morgan

Table Plan

The easiest way to do this is on the computer enabling you to move guests around from table to table with relative ease. Otherwise put guests names on small pieces of paper and pin to a foam board (available from art shops) round each table, you can see what tables are near to each other and whether children have easy access to toilets or gardens.

Bridal Fitting

Go for your final fitting and hopefully take your dress home. Speak with the designer regarding any special instructions on getting into the dress on your wedding day and how to store it after the wedding.

RSVP

Keep track of these on a daily basis and never put off adding the confirmations to your master list. You don’t want a situation with guests turning up on the day who you have not allocated a seat; yes it does and has happened! Detail whether they are coming, dietary requirements and whether they have bought a present from your gift list.

Final Month

Everything is organised but it is a matter of confirming details and ensuring everyone knows what to do on the wedding day.

• Attend wedding rehearsal
• Buy gifts for the wedding party
• Pack holiday clothes
• Produce a wedding schedule for key members & venue
• Remind key people about the wedding speeches
• Reproduce all supplier contracts for the venue
• Run through duties with ushers & best man
• Start to wear in your wedding shoes at home

Wedding Rehearsal

Most religious ceremonies will include a rehearsal as standard whereas civil ceremonies do not. If you want to run through the plan for the day then ask your venue if you can use the ceremony room for 1 hour for you and the wedding party. But your venue will have final say on a civil rehearsal without any registrar in attendance. Think about who will walk down the aisle first and in which order, I always think bridesmaids going down first creates a more dramatic entrance for the bride.

Insider Tip – take deep breaths before walking down and remember to walk slowly, sounds obvious but when nervous people tend to walk fast.

Supplier Letters

Send confirmation letters to all suppliers reconfirming what you expect from them on the day. Give a copy to your wedding co-ordinator if you have one so they are fully aware of your plans. Include directions and a schedule for the day along with emergency numbers, i.e. your co-ordinator or maid of honour.Top Tip – check whether any suppliers need feeding on the day.

Stationery

Have the order of service printed and write out the place cards. Put all table stationery in a separate envelope per table, this makes it easier for your co-ordinator or venue to lay out for you on the wedding day.

Insider Tip – have a few extra place cards in case some get damaged or you have guests drop out and subsequently fill their seats.

Speeches

Check that the speeches have been written and practiced; also give key speakers an estimated time in which to complete it in order for the timetable to be kept. Who will announce them if you do not have a toastmaster or co-ordinator then perhaps a family member will provide this honour?

Copyright Harvey Collard

Catering Plan

Your venue or caterers will need final numbers about 8 weeks before the wedding. Don’t forget to let them know about children, allergies and dietary requirements.

In our next and final instalment we cover the actual wedding day. If you think you would like help planning your wedding dont forget to visit our main site

Photo Credits: Kerry Morgan & Harvey Collard

Congratulations you’re engaged! You’re on glad nine, your fiancée has declared his love and asked you to become his wife, you excitedly talk about the future and your wedding day. You dream about the dress, partying with your friends and of course becoming husband and wife.

But, then the panic sets in. Just how do you plan a wedding, where should you begin? In our fortnightly series we will break down how to organise a wedding like a professional wedding planner. In our 7^th instalment of our planning guide we talk about the final details.By now most details will have been finalised leaving you to concentrate on bringing all the elements together. If you have been buying items for your tables then ask to visit your venue one day when they have tables laid out and decorate one table. This gives you an idea on how far petals go and in fact why less is more, you don’t need to clutter tables to create a beautiful look.

2-6 Months

• Book overnight accommodation for you if necessary, plus block book rooms for guests
• Choose favours
• Book beautician and hairdresser
• Finalise ceremony wording
• Choose gift list
• Send out invitations
• Buy the wedding rings

Favours

If you want favours for the day then start researching them now. Will you want something memorable or simple? Do you have the budget to spend on substantial favours? I always think favours that fit in with the theme are best. For example miniature jams, fans or packets of seeds work well for country themes.

Beautician

Book a trial with a wedding makeup artist, be honest with them about what you like or dislike. Remember makeup needs to be heavier then usual in order to show up in the photos and last the duration of the busy day.

Hairdresser

Can your regular hairdresser put your hair up for you or do you need to find a freelance person. Definitely book in some trials and show pictures of what you wish to recreate.

Ceremony Format

Start thinking about any readings you wish to have in the ceremony. These will need to be approved by your priest or registrar prior to the wedding so do this early in order to make any amendments and then print the order of service sheets.

Top tip – why not print the order of service on a paper fan providing dual purpose on a hot day?

Photo Credit: Harvey Collard

Congratulations you’re engaged! You’re on glad nine, your fiancée has declared his love and asked you to become his wife, you excitedly talk about the future and your wedding day. You dream about the dress, partying with your friends and of course becoming husband and wife.

But, then the panic sets in. Just how do you plan a wedding, where should you begin? In our fortnightly series we will break down how to organise a wedding like a professional wedding planner.

In our 5^th instalment of our planning guide we talk about some of your suppliers in more depth.

Photographer

Think about what you want from your photos. Do you want an album of modern images or would you prefer to buy your own high street version? Is it vital to have a CD of images to print and share with friends around the world? Will you want traditional posed photos or mainly reportage? Personally I think a good photographer is vital to capture all your memories from the day. Is the photographer willing to work with you and your vision or do they seem set in their ways? There are many styles to choose from traditional, modern, artistic so browse photographer websites to see what style suits you best. Some of my favourites are: Harvey Collard, Kerry Morgan, Lloyd Dobbie, Tim Bowden

 Videographer

Videos are gaining popularity after a decline in recent years. Visit some fairs and do some internet based research. Ask to see actual wedding demos and not a show reel which of course has been edited superbly as a sales tool. Has it been shot in focus and is the editing seamless. What effects have they included, does it add to the film or detract from the footage itself? What is included in the price and what is extra. If you do not want a traditional video then what about Super 8 cine film. It’s very stylish and has a classic vintage feel, this does tend to cost more then standard video/DVD filming.

Entertainment

Of course you will want your guests fully entertained on the day both day and evening, the options are literally endless. To begin will you want any professional singers or musicians for the ceremony? As with everything else check references and demos. Back at the reception the musicians can continue playing or you can book additional entertainment. In the evening a band or disco is the most popular options but to get your thinking caps on here are a few more choices for the day/evening. A good agency will have most of these on their books.

• Harpist
• String quartet
• Jukebox
• Opera Singers
• Gospel singers
• Guitarist
• Pianist
• Caricature
• Silhouette Artist
• Magician
• Comedian
• Life statues
• Casino
• Professional dancers
• Tribute bands
• Look-alikes
• Party bands
• Discos

Caterers

If your venue allows outside catering or you are having a marquee then you need to start looking for good reputable caterers. Does the venue have a list of recommended companies familiar with the venue kitchen & layout? If not look through local wedding magazines, wedding fairs and the internet. Ask whether they have experience of weddings and check their relevant insurance & food & safety certificates. Check what is included in the price and what is extra, for example some companies have a set price including linen, staff and equipment whereas others charge these items separately. How many staff will they have on the day, any less then 1 per table of 10 then start to worry! Ask how long they need to serve your wedding sufficiently and how big they need the catering tent (if needed) should be. And finally have a food tasting nearer the time to choose your menu, cutlery, crockery & glassware.

Dress

This is one of those moments you have been dreaming about for years so make the most of it. Make a list of some bridal shops to visit, why not do some local and some in town? Decide who you want to go with you and set a girly date. Start to think about the styles you like and of course dislike but enter this stage of planning with an open mind. The dress style you like is not necessary the style that suits you. Make notes as to what you liked or disliked about the dress so you remember when digesting the day afterwards. If you cannot find one you like then think about browsing US websites, even with shipping and additional seamstress costs it may work out cheaper. Otherwise why not have an individual dress made for you, its not as expensive as you may think. Once the dress has been chosen you need to select a veil, shoes and accessories.

Top Tip – don’t make too many appointments in one day otherwise you will be checking your watch constantly, try to fit in afternoon tea or lunch to discuss the dresses with your Mother or bridesmaids.

Photo Credits: Kerry Morgan & Nick Kontou

Congratulations you’re engaged! You’re on glad nine, your fiancée has declared his love and asked you to become his wife, you excitedly talk about the future and your wedding day. You dream about the dress, partying with your friends and of course becoming husband and wife.

But, then the panic sets in. Just how do you plan a wedding, where should you begin? In our fortnightly series we will break down how to organise a wedding like a professional wedding planner.

Tom & Mel

In our 4^th instalment of our planning guide we talk about getting all those fabulous suppliers on board. The type of suppliers you could be hiring include:

• Photographer
• Videographer
• Cake
• Stationer
• Transportation
• Entertainment
• Nanny/crèche
• Décor specialist
• Beautician/hairdresser

You can find suppliers through personal recommendation, bridal magazines, wedding directories, blogs, twitter, wedding fairs and venue recommended supplier lists.

Don’t rush into any decisions and make sure you make all the appropriate checks before confirming any. Don’t assume a wonderful website means they are a fabulous supplier, someone make be excellent at PR & marketing but have very little experience of the job itself. Ask to see references and when necessary copies of their insurance. Of course one of the best ways to select a supplier is via personal recommendation but, because a florist was perfect for say your cousins wedding, does it mean they are perfect for yours?

When comparing suppliers do so on a like for like basis, shortlist down to 2-3 before making your final decision. Once you have hired a supplier add them into a payment spreadsheet detailing when deposits are needed, final payment details, address & any special instructions. This helps you keep track of your wedding expenditure.

Stay in touch with your suppliers advising them of any changes to your wedding like design but esp. if you have changed the date or venue!

 Photo credit: Lloyd Dobbie

In the 3rd part of our wedding planning guide we discuss how important it is to budget for your wedding from the outset.

Step 1 – What Wedding do you want? (part 3)

Budget

If there is one thing that upsets me greatly, it’s seeing couples struggle to pay for a wedding they cannot afford. Please work out what you can realistically afford to save and speak to your parents about any contribution they can offer. Do you have any talented relatives or friends that can lend a helping hand? The key is to have a wedding you can afford without compromising on style. Discuss with your fiancée what elements of the day are important to you, i.e entertainment, venue or number of guests. You then spend money on the areas important to you and save on other areas, for example spending £3 per favour for every guest is not a necessity whereas perhaps a good photographer is?

If family are contributing towards to wedding, put it towards something like a photographer or transport. Once you use that money for the reception, you open yourself up to conflicts in terms of who ‘should be invited’. Use the below % breakdown as a guide when working out what to allocate to the reception or suppliers.

In the next instalment we will discuss how to hire your dream team.

In part 2 of our wedding planning guide we discuss how to choose your dream venue.

Step 1 – What Wedding do you want? (part 2)

Reception Venue

It may be you already know where you want your reception. Perhaps you hold romantic visions of a castle or if a country girl at heart then I’m sure the barns will draw you in. There are many factors to consider when choosing a venue. Use the tips below as your guide when selecting venues.

1. If you wish to have a civil ceremony then does the venue have a license and if so which room? What is the maximum number of guests they can accommodate in a ceremony? Most venues charge an additional fee for a ceremony on top of the registrar’s fee.

2. The cost of the reception can encounter for a large chunk of your budget so think about the venue charges. As well as welcome drinks and table wine and of course the wedding breakfast itself.

3. If no Saturday’s are free then are there reductions for mid week weddings? Thursday and Fridays are both incredibly popular days for weddings now.

4. Ask about on site accommodation for you and your guests, much easier being able to stumble back to your room after a hard days partying. Ideally there should be a variety of accommodation near by within a range of budgets. Think about arranging a shuttle service at night to get guests back safely.

5. Will the wedding take place where you currently live or where you were bought up? Think about whether you want a city location or would prefer to be surrounded by the countryside. If guests are travelling far then good access would be appreciated. Is it necessary for you to have exclusivity or would the general public wandering around add to the ambience.

6. Can the venue accommodate the number of anticipated guests comfortably? You want to have enough room around the tables for staff to serve proficiently.

7. Will your venue co-ordinator work on your wedding day? Do you have a good rapport with them and can they answer all your questions about how the day will run? Or if your venue is a marquee then seriously consider hiring a planner even if just for the day, I can help if your wedding is in East Anglia Dream Occasions or try UKAWP for planners in your area. You need someone on the day to implement all your ideas and plans. Ask whether they take on all table decorating on the day or whether you need to delegate to someone else.

8. When viewing your venue have a look round the grounds and ask what will be exclusively available for you and your guests on the day. If you anticipate a lot of children then be aware of nearby roads or ponds.

9. When viewing venues look carefully at the décor and general maintenance. A well maintained means the owners care about their venue and as such you their client.

In the next installment of the wedding planning guide we will go over your budget.